


burn out

by junhuist



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Drabble, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, author made this at 2am and is slightly sad, lapslock, there is no fluff in here i'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 11:15:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30020958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junhuist/pseuds/junhuist
Summary: junhui wonders when the fire started to flicker when he’s kept all the windows closed.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Wen Jun Hui | Jun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	burn out

the bed is empty again when junhui wakes up from his 4-hour slumber. it’s _normal_ , junhui forces his barely coherent train of thought to spit out. he struggles to keep his hands to himself - in the end, he reaches to the left side of the full-sized bed, cold to the touch. he shivers, less at the temperature, but more at the reminder. he repeats it once, twice, until he’s crying and the tears won’t stop and why won’t it stop why won’t it -

wonwoo is not yours. he doesn’t sleep next to you anymore.

it’s _normal._

_-_

soonyoung had said that junhui and wonwoo were the best couple on campus, once.

on a friday noon during the second semester of their third year, the only day when their little group had the same lunch slot. they had been talking about something after the other, junhui’s head resting against his arm on the table while wonwoo softly combed through his air, all completely out of context to soonyoung’s sudden outburst.

“junnie and wonwoo are sweet, you know? they’re disgusting and have no sense of shame sometimes, sure, but wonwoo takes care of junnie so well,” soonyoung declared, too deep in thought to notice the questioning stares of the others before continuing, “they’ve been together for, what, two and a half years? but it hasn’t changed. junnie’s still the adorable sense of reason while wonwoo is the infatuated idiot who could him offer the stars if he could.”

soonyoung turned to his side, “they’re the best couple on campus, ji. how do we beat them?” he asked, serious. jihoon stared before muttering, “dumbass,” under his breath.

the rest laughed as soonyoung’s continued to scheme against the two. junhui couldn’t stop laughing, of course. he thought soonyoung was being ridiculous, overreacting about things he saw when he didn’t know just how difficult it was to keep them afloat behind closed doors. junhui turned to face wonwoo, but he was already one step ahead of him - just as always, just the same - a knowing, yet sparkling look in his eyes.

things were difficult sometimes, but that makes things better, more… worth it, junhui thought, and he laughed some more.

-

“we all knew it was coming,” seokmin repeats for the third time in the past ten minutes.

junhui stares at the bitten tip of his green straw, then at the condensation outside his glass of iced americano, and finally at seokmin. “i know,” he says, because he does.

“what he means,” seungkwan begins, side-eyeing seokmin, “is that… you two hadn’t exactly been, well,” he flaps his hands around the air, “friendly, these past few months.”

junhui draws his eyebrows together. “at you guys or at each other?”

seungkwan winces. “…both.” junhui mimics his expression.

“i’m sorry,” he pauses, takes a long sip of his drink, and continues, “i didn’t even - i knew some of you had a clue that we were… struggling. but i didn’t know we were so outward about it.” he pauses again. bites his lip. continues. “i thought we were doing a great job of –” he doesn’t know what they were doing.

seokmin looks sympathetic when he says, “you’re a great actor, _hyung_ , but there’s just some things you can’t take out of a script and turn into real life.”

seungkwan nods, takes junhui’s hand that had been gripping the drink a little too tensely, and rubs soothing circles even though he’s getting his own hand wet. “and wonwoo- _hyung_ isn’t that great at pretending, either.”

pretending. that’s the one.

-

junhui downed his eighth shot of soju of the night and giggled instead of gagging at the flavor. it tasted like pomegranate - wonwoo had offered the bottle around an hour and a half ago because he knew junhui preferred this one over the plain, bitter flavor. he remembered how wonwoo barely looked at him as he passed the drink, how he made sure their index fingers wouldn’t touch a centimeter.

he remembered how he asked wonwoo if he was _that_ repulsed by him, how wonwoo told him not to drink his ass off because he didn’t want to carry the sleeping light-weight back to their apartment before walking away instead.

his mind was a bit hazy from the alcohol, but he could spot his boyfriend well enough from his position on the couch. on the balcony, talking so seriously with jeonghan it felt like he was eavesdropping from twenty feet away. but he’s drunk and he wants in on the conversation, too, so he sets the pomegranate-flavored soju on the floor, stands up a bit too abruptly and steadies himself, before stalking off to the pair.

“what is my beautiful boyfriend talking about that’s got the birthday boy looking so murderous?” junhui wondered aloud the second he stepped foot on the balcony. immediately, jeonghan loses the burrow of his eyebrows and switches to a fond gaze directed at junhui instead. “hey, junnie. enjoying the party?”

junhui thought a bit too hard at the question before answering, “it’s okay, though it would be better if my beautiful boyfriend actually started talking to me instead of being so god damn passive-aggressive the entire night.”

jeonghan’s amused glint turned into a hard look in the blink of an eye. he turned to the man beside him who was gripping the railing so hard his knuckles were starting to pale before he sighed and spoke to junhui once more.

“i’m going to go make sure soonyoung hasn’t broken any of our dishes yet,” he smiled apologetically as he began to walk back inside the house. however, as he passed by junhui, he hugged him tight, whispering, “i’ll always be here if you need me, junnie,” squeezing his shoulders tightly before letting go and closing the door behind him.

junhui would have very much liked to pretend that he hadn’t understood what jeonghan meant, but the eight shots of soju had made only the ground blurrier. wonwoo’s indifferent - maybe slightly sad - stare was too clear to see.

he pretended it didn’t matter, anyway, choosing to step forward and hug the other tightly.

after a few painful seconds of wonwoo not reaching back to hug him, he whispered into his shoulder, “i know you’re tired, won. i am, too.”

at that, wonwoo slowly put his arms around his boyfriend, holding him like he was fragile and could break any moment and - “let’s go home.” _let’s talk._

junhui mutters a yes, but they keep their bodies pressed together for a while longer.

-

“wow,” soonyoung breathes out as he steps into junhui’s and - junhui’s apartment.

“yeah,” junhui nods, gazing around the way soonyoung is, “that’s what i said after i finished everything, too.”

soonyoung looks impressed, and junhui feels prouder. “when you said you’d fix the place up a bit, i didn’t expect it’d be a full makeover.”

“i didn’t even do much,” junhui chuckles, “just moved a couple of furniture here and there.”

“but it looks brighter, and,” soonyoung hums, “it’s so different from what it used to be.”

the apartment does look wider now that the space belongs to just a single person. the walls that were once grey are now painted a light beige, but apart from that, nothing new was added.

it’s less of the new and more with the old, the gone, he thinks. it’s what made the change so prominent.

“it is,” junhui agrees, not only referring to the apartment.

soonyoung turns around and faces junhui, smiles slightly. “i’m so proud of you, you know. with the way you’re handling everything.”

junhui smiles back - but it feels painful. _why is it so hard to be happy about this?_ he wants to ask soonyoung.

“i’m proud of myself too,” is what he says instead, because he might not be good at pretending, but there’s one less person in his life to lie to, and that makes things a little easier.

**Author's Note:**

> im missing junhui very very much and the way i cope is to write or cry about him and i thought. why not do both! i would apologize for the angst but im feeling very angsty too so all of u get to suffer with me
> 
> thank u so much for reading, i hope u guys enjoyed this short thing :')


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